Photo A Day Challenge - Week Three (January 14-20, 2011)

Here we go again!  Week Three already!  I am really bad at abandoning challenges like this, but I really am getting joy from this one. :)




Day Fourteen: Something I Am Reading.  This is from my Real Simple magazine.  I really liked the quote about love.



Day Fifteen: Happiness.  Happiness is shoes in my book.  Even if they are your older brothers' and they are on the wrong feet!




Day Sixteen: Morning.  OK, this was really from Day Seventeen, but that doesn't bother me.  I had to share this!  Look at what I saw on my drive into Huntington this morning.  Ride the rainbow!!!




Day Seventeen: Water.  Bath time with cute little whale toy that shoots water through its spout.  The kiddos love it!






I Really LIKE Him

I love all my children. More than anything. Today I realized how much I really like my oldest son Ethan.

I think he went through a little thing after each of his brothers was born. It's completely understandable though; he was IT for six and a half years. All of a sudden, he was thrust into the role of big brother. He was good with it, I think, until the little things about having younger siblings surfaced. They get your parents attention, you have to become more independent, you have to share your bedroom, they get into your personal stuff. (We've all been there.)

But something has happened over the past few months. He has seemed to take an interest in his brothers. He will play with them and watch out for them if I have to go to the bathroom. He is truly becoming a Big Brother. I watch him with the little guys and see how much they are going to live and admire him as they grow older. Maybe even as adults, because he's that great. That. Would. Be. Awesome.

That aside, I've begun to really pay attention to him and see how special he is. He's smart; always has been. But I love his inquisitive brain and how it works. I love how he comes into Nash's room when I'm rocking him, getting him to sleep, and just talks. Spills out whatever thought or question is on his mind. Lately, it's computer stuff. Cool.

What I am loving so much today is his heart. He's always been kind and sweet, when he wants to be. It touches my heart how much he loves Aunt Shirley. How it breaks his heart and he quietly cries a little when we leave her house (just like I still do). How he tells me he misses her and wants to call her. (This is a big deal; he's not a phonophile. Again, like his mama.)

I am realizing how many little things we have in common. Unspoken things. Things I've seen in myself but never talk about. Even some of his facial features. Funny.

Ethan's always been a good boy whom I love unconditionally. I really LIKE him, too. I hope I never forget this feeling, and I hope he feels the same way.

I Was Present Today

We were able to drive to Ohio to spend the day with Aunt Shirley. This was our belated holiday visit with her. And it was great to see her, talk with her, watch her enjoy being with my boys. She is loving and nurturing with children, especially family. I love her so much.

January 14, 2012 - The boys and Great Aunt Shirley

It's been five months or so since Uncle Donnie passed away. Because of cancer. Horrible disease cancer. I have been really busy at work and overextended at home lately, especially the last week. This visit with Aunt Shirley made me slow down and be present in the time we were with her. I loved it, but I also hated it. It made me realize how much I miss having my uncle there. How dinner just wasn't the same without him. How much it stinks for Aunt Shirley to have to deal with everything alone. How much it sucks that I don't live closer, so Aunt Shirley spends ninety percent of her time alone. How much it stinks that family who live nearby don't do more. How much more I realize I need to do for someone who has done so much for me.

So I was totally present today. It left quite an impression on me. I hope I don't let this feeling sink to the wayside of my daily life. I need my aunt. My boys need their great aunt. Because she is truly one of the great ones.

Photo A Day Challenge - Week Two (January 7-13, 2012)





Week Two is upon us, and I'm still going strong.  (I have realized I really love to take pictures, and a challenge like this keeps me mindful of things going on around me.  Loving this so far!)



Day Seven:  Favorite.  This is our Saturday breakfast.  Zane's favorite -- scrambled eggs.  With ketchup, of course.  Ethan's favorite -- orange sweet rolls.  Mama's favorite -- french toast.  Wait, there's no french toast.  Maybe next time. :)

Day Eight:  My Sky.  Our Moon Pie sky.  At least that's what Zane called it :)  I love the layered colors.  "Red sky at night, sailors delight" was true.  The next day was beautiful for January.



Day Nine: Daily Routine.  My daily commute.  It's always dark when I get home this time of year.  :(  I like the reflection of the lights on my car's hood here.

 

Day Nine:  Daily Routine.  Take 2.  This was the morning leg of my daily commute.  That's the moon, not the sun in the sky!  I loved the colors in this shot.



Day Ten: Childhood.  Child toes.  Love!



Day Eleven:  Where I Sleep.  My boys after baths on my bed where I sleep.



Day Eleven: Where I Sleep.  Those boys again on my bed.  Grrr!

Day Twelve: Closeup.  My rings.  Blurry, yes.  But cool, I think.



Day Twelve: Closeup.  My favorite winter scarf.

Day Twelve: Closeup.  Again, my scarf.  I just love the colors and textures here!



Day Thirteen: In My Bag.  This is my cute little fish coin purse that I love.  Especially when there's money in it!  {glub, glub}






I've linked up with Jeannett this week at liferearranged.com

What Will He Remember?

What will my sons remember about me? When will they start remembering?

Regardless of when or what they remember, good parenting of young kids means teaching them and caring for them and making them feel comforted, safe, and secure. But when will they have specific memories about me?

I know they won't remember the baths or diaper changes or rocking late at night. I know they won't remember the little things that make parenting wonderful. They won't remember the things that make parenting horrible either. They won't remember smiling at me the first time and making my heart melt. They won't remember crying and wailing inconsolably, making my heart break. They wont know how leaving them at daycare or school the first time ripped my soul in two. I know this, and that's okay.

I hope they remember I am their biggest fan. I will always be here for them. I love them more than literally anything in the world. I hope I teach them things they always carry with them. I hope they will become my biggest fan.

At some point, they will be preteens or teenagers and won't talk openly and freely to me. They won't speak what's on their mind, asking lots of questions. At some point, they won't hold my hand or snuggle or crawl in bed with us. They will need privacy. They will have secrets they don't share with me anymore.

I know this because it happened to me. It happens to everyone.

What makes me sad about this is what I remember (or don't remember) about my childhood. I don't remember holding my parents' hands or snuggling on their laps or chatting nonstop to them. I don't even remember hugs. But I know they happened. They had to, right? I'm healthy and well-adjusted. I'm independent. I have a good relationship with my parents nowadays.

I am scared my kids won't remember these things about me. Really scared.

When I was pregnant and then my kids were born, I thought a lot about my mom's own similar experiences. As bad as it sounds, I really didn't appreciate her and recognize her as a unique individual until then, when I was 29 years old.

And I don't have girls.

What will my boys remember about me?

All I can hope is that I document our lives well, better than I have up to now. All I can hope is that these are three good boys who grow into good men who are good husbands and great fathers. That's my purpose here really.

I love that. And I love them so.

Old and New (at the same time)



First the Old.

I had an overwhelming feeling about Zane (and all my kids) this weekend I wanted to share.  I feel like I've known him my whole life.  But he's only two and a half!  It's one of those feelings that he has always been a part of my life.  A part of my soul and very being.  A part of me.  And I guess he has always been there even though his little body hasn't been.  He was something I felt like was always missing until he was born.  I'll use this corny analogy -- he was a missing piece to the puzzle of my life. 

I felt such a compelling urge to have each one of my kids, even the one I lost to miscarriage in 2008.  I think that something felt empty and incomplete without them.  I still have an urge to have another baby, but I know that's not in the cards for me.  And that's ok.  Because I am enjoying being the mom to three awesome little boys, and I know I will get to meet another little soul one day.

Now the New.

Right now, I am happy learning new things about each boy each day.  I am trying to slow day enough to appreciate everything. 

• Zane's singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" out of the blue, anytime and anywhere.  I love his voice.  And he loves puzzles; he's a whiz at working them nowadays.  And he makes me feel so loved by giving me a big hug at the end of the work day. :)
• Ethan's obsession fascination and knowledge of technology.  And the fact he is such a sweet soul.  He is a caring big brother; his brothers will always look up to him.  He is growing up.  I am proud and sad at the same time.
• Nash.  Ahead of the curve with everything it seems!  (I wonder if it will always be like this with him?)  He is just barely ten months old, and he is walking.  Walking!  Just a few steps now, but he will be running before we know it.  And that smile.  He smiles with his whole face!  It is simply beautiful.



My Three Little Monsters Boyd's



Zane.  Loving his sunglasses at dinnertime.  With dinner on his little face :)

 

Our little meteorologist.  He actually WANTED to wear his tie to school!  His science project is great, and he looks so handsome.  What a great kid.



Nashie.  Plain and simple joy for me.  Love!!!

 


Photo A Day Challenge - Week 1 (January 1-6, 2012)

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My goal is to take a photo each day.  Likely, it will be a phone pic because that's the camera I usually have with me at all times.  (And that's the best camera, right?  It doesn't do any good to have a fancy DSLR if it's in a camera bag someplace where you aren't.)  Plus, I don't have to upload pictures via my computer.  Which is still in a coma with the repair guy.  (Update on the 'puter:  We had some bad memory.  Whatever that means!  But it looks like the computer guru CAN fix it.  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!)

I am going to upload my pictures via my blog onto FB each week, if I remember to.  If I don't lose motivation along the way, or if this silly thing called My Life doesn't get in the way!



Day One:  Me (on my way to work, in my car.  again.)

 



Day Two:  Breakfast (note it is on my lap, in the car!)

 



Day Three:  Something I Adore.  This could have been so many things.  But this is definitely at the top of my list!



 


Day Four:  Letterbox.  These are old post office boxes in a building I visit daily.  Lovely!






Day Five:  Something I Wore.  I love this sweater.  My favorite color.  From my favorite store.  Also my favorite necklace.  (I wear this a lot mainly because when the babies pull on it, it doesn't break!)






Day Six:  Something that makes me smile.  My yellow flats.  {me, smiling}



Linking up this week with Jeannett at liferearranged.com!

 


Rainbow Cake in a Jar

Umm, just look at this.  I am starting to get in birthday planning mode, everybody!  January 31, March 5, and June 10 will be here before you know it.  I think this looks so awesome.  All three little Boyd's might be getting variations of this cake this year :)

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My One Little Word

Welcome 2012! 

It is useless for me to make new year's resolutions because they are the same ones every year (get organized, lose weight, yada yada).  And I just don't stick with them for 30 days, much less 365.

I read this post on Lisa Leonard's blog last week.  (I just love her jewelry and blog; it's very inspiring!)  So this year, I have decided to choose a word to be my "theme" for the year.  It is present.

I want to be present whenever I am doing things this year, whether it's at home or at work or at the grocery store.  Too many times, I find my mind wandering to to-do lists or technology (Does Words With Friends or Facebook ring a bell?) instead of living in the moment.  I want to be present enjoying the little things my boys do.  I want to be engaged in the conversations I have with my husband or friends or family.  I want to be focused on whatever it is I am working on at work.  I want to be present 100% at the moment.  Maybe this will throw planning out the window.  But so what?  These days are going by way too quickly.  I want to enjoy these things:

Christmas Eve 2011 -- matching jammies for the big boys (including dad!)

Nash looking in the mirror in his nursery

Cheeeeese, Zane!

The first snowball of Winter 2011-12

Gratuitous baby feet photo :)

This morning on my way to work, I had to get gas in my car.  (Yep, that procrastination resolution from my last birthday isn't working out so well.)  I took the opportunity to be present in a brief moment to enjoy watching the light snowfall (our first real one all season).  It was beautiful against the backdrop of the WV mountains (even though I got distracted by the Adult Book Store sign in the the backdrop, on the other side of the road).  Nonetheless, I felt the cold wind on my cheeks and nose.  I breathed in the cold air (minus the gas tank fumes).  I was present in the moment.

As silly as that all sounds, I hope it is a step forward.  I hope I can continue doing this exercise every day in 2012.

Even though I didn't choose one word last year, I look back and think I did have a theme word for 2011.  It was joy.  I had a joyful year with some sadness and tension and disappointment.  But overall it was a good, year for me and my family.  I love that word.  Joy.  I want to keep joy in the back of my mind, too, this year as we go through this 366 days of a shiny New Year!